My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
