I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
