thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
