I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize