she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
