Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
