States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
