My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
