no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
