its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
that's an acceptable place to lick
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
