this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
