Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
