I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
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