i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
