I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
