Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
