can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I touched a dick in church today
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
