I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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