Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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