why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
