be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
