I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
