im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
