heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
