Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
