he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
