i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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