I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
