you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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