Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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