she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
