hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize