We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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