Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
