discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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