sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
