I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
