Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
