1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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