its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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