i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
