My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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