i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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