She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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