I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
