i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
