she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am one with the molecules
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you never un-have a 4some
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
