I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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