Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize