hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize