from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he shaved USA in his pubs
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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