Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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