Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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