He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize