Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Blood and glitter go together right?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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