please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
