Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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