A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
