My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
