My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
