Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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