So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
